• Location: Public Services Ring, New Kourou
• Address: NE Public Services Ring Road 4
• Surroundings: Nestled between the Pharmacy of New Kourou and New Horizon Funeral Services

Founded in early 2626 by Ernest Schmitz — the elder of the Schmitz twins by exactly one minute — this was the first ExoHuman funeral home on VOI 700 D. A week later, his brother Joe opened a rival parlor, the New Horizon Funeral Services across town, igniting a good-natured (and sometimes not-so-good-natured) competition.

Unlike Alpha Age and later Gamma Age composting practices, Beta Age settlers embraced soil burial “like old Earth,” viewing it as a way to root their lineage in the new world. Ernest’s parlor handles everything — crafting coffins, preparing bodies, hosting private viewings, and transporting the deceased to the New Horizon’s Rest Cemetery in a black, Hoo-drawn cart purchased from the Courier Service.

• Construction Material: Charred starship bulkheads, burnt alloy ribs, and soot-stained deck plating; interior lined with reclaimed, polished cabin wood. The building’s façade is clad in burn-scarred hull plates salvaged from the Last Frontier, a visual “bridge” between life and the fiery crash that began the Beta Age.
• Floors: 1½ (main floor + loft-storage mezzanine)
• Design Purpose: Evoke solemn respect; dark exterior contrasts warmly lit, wood-scented interior.

Main Floor

• Reception & Waiting Alcove: Butler-configured desk, condolence ledger, small tea urn.
• Laying-Out Rooms (3): Each curtained, candle-lit space accommodates up to ten mourners; adjustable stasis mats keep remains cool.
• Coffin Workshop: Rear chamber where bespoke Morningstar cedar coffins are planed and stained.
• Body-Prep Suite: Wash table, simple embalming rack, and salvaged medical lighting.
• Public W.C.: AuroraSan toilet & hand-wash basin.

Loft Mezzanine

• Stock Storage: Spare coffin panels, linens, and flowers grown in hydroponic trays.

Exterior Yard (rear of main building)

• Hoo Stable: Small two-stall shelter with straw bedding, feed bins, and a rain-catch cistern; sized for the black-coated Hoos that pull the funeral cart.
• Cart Shed: Lean-to structure adjoining the stable; houses the black coffin cart, harness racks, and a basic repair toolkit.

Inside smells of wood shavings, wax, and faint incense. Dim lanterns reflect off blackened hull panels, turning scars from the crash into delicate patterns. Soft string music — broadcast nightly from Weber Broadcasting — floats through hidden speakers. Despite the somber business, the space feels calm, almost hopeful, encouraging mourners to speak of new beginnings as much as endings.

• Ernest Schmitz (Owner / Mortician): Oversees every service; mediates family disputes; prides himself on perfect coffin joinery.
• Body Preparers (2): Clean and dress remains; manage stasis mats.
• Coffin Carpenter (1): Crafts and engraves custom motifs (stars, family crests).
• Cart Driver / Hoo Handler (1): Guides the black cart to Horizon’s Rest; doubles as cemetery liaison.
• Cleaning Bot (1): Nightly sterilises prep suite and sweeping floors.

Public Access: By appointment; walk-ins accepted for emergencies 8 AM – 8 PM.

Service Windows:

• 8 AM – 12 PM: Body preparation & coffin carpentry
• 12 PM – 6 PM: Viewings in Laying-Out Rooms
• 6 PM – 8 PM: Procession to New Horizon’s Rest Cemetery

• Locked Entries: Front and rear doors are secured outside business hours; only Ernest and the Cart Driver carry physical keys.
• Guarding Trooper Patrols: Ring patrols of the Guarding Troopers pass the parlor regularly, checking doors and perimeter.
• Cart Yard Gate: Hoo stable and cart shed padlocked nightly; key shared with the Cart Driver.
• Owner’s Windstrike Rifle: Ernest keeps a loaded Windstrike Rifle locked in his office cabinet for last-resort defense.

Legal interactions:

• Commission a Coffin: Custom symbol or hidden compartment for smuggling.
• Attend a Wake: Gather intel, eavesdrop on grieving NPCs.
• Escort a Procession: Protect mourners from bandits or wildlife en route to Horizon’s Rest.

Illegal interactions:

• Exhume Evidence: Sneak in after hours to inspect a corpse before burial.
• Sabotage Rivalry: Persuade Ernest or Joe to undercut the other — social-intrigue subplot.

• Use the parlor for quiet, emotional beats or as the start of darker mysteries.
• A body shows unexplained nanite scars—murder, not accident?
• Ernest’s burned hull façade draws protest; sabotage threatens to ignite volatile alloys.
• Rival brother Joe bribes PCs to steal Ernest’s prized Morningstar cedar supply.

• Beta Age
• Free State of Settlers
• New Kourou
• New Horizon’s Rest Cemetery
• New Horizon Funeral Services
• Exhohuman Funeral Rites of the Beta Age