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SCENE 2d — BUYING A MORTICIAN’S CART

1 | Scene Overview

Location: Schmitz Funeral Home, Public Services Ring, New Kourou
Type: Social · Negotiation · Acquisition
Era: Beta Age
Tone: Eerie · Cynical · Oppressive · Pragmatic

Atmosphere & Sensory Cues: The acrid stench of a slaughterhouse and a battlefield · ironwood furniture · the heavy wet snap of rubber gloves · steel container ceilings · chapel-slit windows looking out to the intersection.

2 | Read-Aloud Description

Initial Read-Aloud (Scene Opening)

Schmitz Funeral Home is built from two repurposed cargo containers stacked atop one another, salvaged from the belly of the Last Frontier. While the interior walls are lined with polished wood to lend a dignified appearance, the impression is instantly shattered by an acrid stench that assaults your nostrils, smelling like a cross between a slaughterhouse and a battlefield.

The flat echo of your footsteps bounces off a cold steel ceiling. There are no bells, no music, and no immediate answer to your call.

Suddenly, a heavy velvet curtain at the back of the room hisses open. Ernest Schmitz steps through. He looks like a pale pole with skin stretched over it, wearing a heavy, blood-stained rubber apron and thick black gloves that glisten with moisture. He stares at you with the flat, taxidermied gaze of a man who has seen every way a human body can break.

Slowly, he peels off his gloves, the rubber snapping against his skin with a wet, clinical sound.

“Pardon the bouquet,” he says, his voice as dry as old wood. “I’ve been on a waiting list for a proper Quantum Fusion Battery for six months now, but the Syndicate thinks the living need the energy more than the dead need to stay cool. I’ve got twenty-five dead penal laborers from a tunnel collapse out at the rail-head waiting out back.”

3 | Scene Intent

Scene Type	Player Intents	DM Function / Story Link
Negotiation · Acquisition	Inspect the hearse · cover their tracks · secure transport for Elias	Provide a unique, highly tactical enclosed travel option. Force players to balance their budget against a stubborn merchant who knows his market is booming.

4 | Key (N)PCs + Dynamic Cues

Name	Role / Affiliation	Motivation / Goal	Dynamic Cues — How They React in Play	Wiki Link
Ernest Schmitz	Owner & Mortician	Sell old hearse; secure fair price; get back to his work	Cynical, grim, and completely unbothered by threats or silver tongues. Bitter about the Covenant due to his sister's death. Responds only to cold cash.	Schmitz Funeral Home
Guarding Trooper Patrol	Guarding Troopers	Sweep for fugitives	Methodical and deeply superstitious; they dislike being inside the funeral home and avoid the cooling racks entirely.	Guarding Troopers
Jop the Hoo	Older draft-mount	Eat Bilax Roots · pull carriages · nap	Slow movements; gentle temperament; incredibly loyal if fed properly.	Hoo

5 | Triggers, Actions & Consequences

Phase 1a — The Ticking Clock (Wanted & Compromised)

This phase applies only if the player characters are not in disguise or are behaving in a way that reveals their true identity.

Trigger / Cue (Player Action)	Immediate Reaction	Clue / Consequence
🚨 Ernest recognizes the PCs (The Micro Clock Starts)	Ernest pauses while inspecting the PCs. He recognizes their faces from the bounty wire. He steps back toward his workshop, his voice tight: “I just need to fetch the ledger.” A PC with a Passive Perception of 12+ hears him quietly keying a shortwave radio to alert the street patrol.	The Clock Starts: The PCs have exactly 1d4 rounds (a few precious seconds) to initiate countermeasures — silence him, flee out the back gate, or aggressively negotiate—before Troopers surround the building.
⏳ The +1 Location Trap / Time Expires	A heavy knock rattles the front door: “Guarding Troopers. Open up, Schmitz. Routine sweep.” If the PCs have not fled, they must immediately find a hiding spot.	Countermeasure (Hide): The PCs can attempt to hide inside empty coffins. Requires a DC 14 CHA (Intimidation or Persuasion) probe or a heavy bribe to convince Ernest not to give them up.
💥 Guarding Troopers attempt to arrest the PCs	If the PCs fail to convince Ernest, fail a DEX (Stealth) check while hiding, or simply run out of time, the Troopers push inside.	If PCs submit: Arrest and detention at the local Guarding Troopers Station. If PCs resist/flee: A violent brawl breaks out.

—

Phase 1b — Inspecting the Carriage & Animals

Trigger / Cue	Immediate Reaction / What Happens	Future Hook / Consequence
💬 PCs ask why he is selling the carriage	He points through the chapel-slit window at the oxidized copper cart outside. He explains his brother built a new hearse with a roof made of salvaged starship glass. “Everyone wants the glass now. It’s not mourning anymore; it’s a parade. That old unit outside… it offers privacy. And privacy is out of fashion.”	The players realize the hearse is functionally perfect for hiding people or cargo, as nobody looks inside enclosed mourning carriages anymore.
🔧 PCs inspect the Hearse Carriage	Enclosed structure of dark wood and oxidized copper plates. The rear loading doors are heavy, providing excellent cover.	The carriage provides full concealment for passengers or wounded characters like Elias during travel.
🐂 PCs inspect the beasts in the yard	A black-coated Hoo stands in the stable near two young, slender white Veyras. Ernest explains the Veyras are for his new glass cart. “The Hoo's name is Jop. Old, but loyal.”	The players learn the vehicle includes Jop. Jop requires Bilax Roots to perform at his best.

—

Phase 2 — The Cold Transaction

Trigger / Cue	Immediate Reaction / What Happens	Outcome Options
💰 PCs ask for the price	Ernest states his terms flatly. “Five hundred Kourou. And I won’t negotiate on this. As the Free State produces more dead bodies than we have morticians, I earn enough to wait for the one who will accept my fair price.”	The price is fixed at 500 Kourou (five Oppenheimers).
🗣️ PCs attempt to haggle or complain	Ernest shuts them down instantly.	Haggle Failure: There is no roll permitted to lower the cost. The players must pay the full 500 Kourou or find another method of transportation.
✔️ PCs pay the 500 Kourou	Ernest takes the notes, stuffs them into his trousers, and slides a heavy copper key across the counter. “The key for the rear loading doors. The latch is temperamental. You have to lift while you turn.”	The PCs acquire the Hearse Carriage and the Key. They receive instructions to feed Jop Bilax Roots (“He'll drag you to the end of the universe and beyond”).
❌ PCs refuse the price	Ernest drops his black rubber gloves onto his paperwork like two dead hands. “Safe travels, then.”	The PCs are forced to leave and look for alternative transport at Mandala's Mounts or the Courier Station.

6 | DM Notes

Tone: Gritty, transactional, and grim. The setting should feel raw. Emphasize the contrast between the polished interior wood and the underlying reality of the stacking bodies.
The Latch Mechanic: Remind players of Ernest's advice when using the carriage doors under pressure: “Lift while you turn.” This can serve as a minor skill check or narrative tension point during a hasty escape.
No Haggling Rule: Emphasize Ernest's absolute economic leverage. He doesn't care if the Covenant thinks it's a “costly conveyance”, he knows the frontier is deadly enough to ensure he always makes a profit.
Jop's Fuel: Make sure players note down Bilax Roots. Feeding Jop these roots ensures he can handle the steep, muddy climbs toward the Atrana Mountains without exhaustion.

DM Tutorial: How to approach the scene

Related Pages and Further Information

↑↑ Start: Hunting An Unknown Hunter
★ Overview: All Scenes of Hunting An Unknown Hunter
☞ Resolution: Case Resolution and discoverable Backstory
← Previous Scene: Scene 2 – Travel Preparations
→ Next Scene: If the PCs buy the carriage, continue with Scene 3 – Traveling to Morningstar.

New Kourou Hub Overview (Other Travel Options)

Location	Type / Activity	Primary Opportunities	Tone / Difficulty	Leads To Scene
New Kourou Courier Station	Travel · Ticket Purchase	Buy caravan tickets · Check departures	Bureaucratic · Busy	→ Scene 2a
Mandala’s Mounts	Travel · Mount Rental	Rent Veyras · Speak with Mandala	Loud · Mildly tense	→ Scene 2b
New Kourou Food Market	Supplies · Provisions	Buy trail food & water · Spot Sola Enu’s Tandora stall	Crowded · Friendly	→ Scene 2c
Schmitz Funeral Home	Vehicle Purchase	Inspect & buy hearse carriage	Quiet · Gritty · Fixed price	→ Scene 2d

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102 Pen and Paper Adventure | Beta Age | Hunting an Unknown Hunter